The promise

The times I bite my tongue so hard it bleeds, crimson red blood stained with sin.

The times my thoughts stop at just that, thoughts, dark and desperate thoughts. 

The times my breath escapes me, stolen by sorrow.

It's all wrong, my one and only goal is to speak my words to you.

To revel all the hatred, hurt, anger built up in my heart, 

All labeled with your name, no evading the blame.

I'll spend my time trying to sell my soul to the highest bidder, and throw caution to the wind,

Trying to rid myself of me, of the kind hearted girl you used.

Trying to become someone strong enough to return to you what you gave me, 

To tear your world apart and sit back with a smile.

I'm coming for you.

The plead.

Inspire me; love me, hurt me, leave me. 

Join my present as long as you don't creep into my future, occupy my time, my heart.

But remember that now only lasts so long, and the minutes are ticking away, you must not stay long.

Mis.

Mistake, The accidental eye contact, the moment of weakness.
I let those eyes so full of depth fix on mine, and I lost my breath, my heart.
I should have known better.
Misunderstood, The line used way to often, the sign of weakness.
I let my heart take control, threw logic to the wind. I lost my better judgement, my head.
I knew you, your type.
Mislead, The unavoidable, the hurt to come.
I mislead you, you mislead me, two hearts unwilling to face the truth. I lost my grasp on reality, my certainy.
I thought I knew me, too.
Miss, Now I miss you quite terribly.
I let you leave, I let you take with you my heart. I lost my chance, I lost you.
I'm getting to know regret.

The one who wears the cape.

The lies you've told yourself; it's not worth it, the truth you evade; they care, the hurt you collect; the hidden tears, fears.  It's made you you, turned you into that amazing, breath taking person before me. The change started in your heart and spread to your eyes. And yes it's clear that you've pushed them away to arm length, and you have every intention of keeping them there, keeping them from hurting you anymore than they already have. The few that look close enough can see the loving spark that remains, waiting in the form of an ember ready to catch fire. Your different now then before, yet your the same good heart, the same caring soul. You are not those lies, that fear, that pain, they don't define you. You don't let them, and even with as hard as you try to convince the ones around you otherwise the truth comes out. Your beautiful truth, your story is out. The strength and courage in your heart, the love for life not so hidden in your eyes is why they look up to you, even if they don't admit it.

The lead that lead to this.

It was idea spread carelessly across the paper in hopes to perserve it, savor it.

Written by young, shaking and unsure hands.

It was navitiy at it's finest.

Tears stained the pages,

Hope fueled the pencil as it glided across the page.

A chance to leave the confusion behind, to find a new and better futrue.

The beginning, the middle, and the to be continued..

The most exciting adventure, the chance of a life time.

A missed oppruinity returning,

The dream come true.

The discovery that dreams don't always play out according to the story books.

That sometimes grass is dead and dying on the other side.

And hearts don't survive without sunshine.

An unimaginable pain.

A sorrow that is impossible to ever truly forget.

The nightmare's door into the real world.

The regrets, the doubts, the fear, the blame, the consumption.

Missing you, missing then, missing it all. 

Facing the unrepairable break.

Conquering the pain, and redirecting the hurt.

Becoming who I need to be to have a future good enough to make up for the years lost.

Finding the strength, the courage, the motivation to carry on.

Fighting the fight.

A strength that came with a high price.

The realization that people are simply selfish.

That they can't be trusted, to love you, or to be loved.

The reason that hearts aren't woren on sleeves, or even woren at all.